You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘family’ tag.

Laura here.

I just felt it important to say something here. Yes, I’ve been very upset today. Thanks to everyone who has said supportive things- Kyli, Liz, people through various other mediums such as facebook.

Anyway.

I felt it important to paint a fuller picture. See, when we are hurt and angry, we report things in a one sided way. So I’d really like to say that despite what happened today, my Mum is one of the kindest and most generous people I know. She’s not very good with all this ‘health stuff’. When I try to talk about it, she blanks me out. It’s like she can’t accept it, so maybe that’s part of the problem.

Other than that though, she’s fantastic. She’d do anything for me. One time, she bought me a dress and a jumper when we were out shopping together. I put the carrier bag down in another shop to try on a coat, and I left it behind. By the time she realised and I went back, it had been taken. I was really upset and she not only bought me another dress (and offered to buy me the jumper again too, but I wouldn’t let her) but she drove me to a shop on the other side of town because the dress I’d just lost was the last one.

She drives me places, buys me so many gifts, including little things like my favourite chocolate or a meal that I like. She goes out of her way for me. She’s not a bad person. She just doesn’t really handle this health stuff very well. And sometimes that upsets me very deeply. But she does more good for me than she ever upsets me, so I needed to say that to paint a more balanced picture.

I think loved ones can upset us anyway because we are after all only human and I think they must get frustrated at our illness too and have trouble coping with it, which means sometimes they inadvertently react in ways that hurt us.

I’d still rather be ill and compassionate than healthy and not-so-compassionate like Kyli said. In fact, it’s BECAUSE I am compassionate that I can see beyond my Mum’s hurtful behaviour and still know that she’s a good person. I don’t blame her for it. I get cross and angry and frustrated with her at times for not being more understanding, but I don’t blame her.

She doesn’t understand. She says the wrong things sometimes, but who doesn’t? Everyone fights with their loved ones from time to time even without the complication of a chronic illness. It’s a normal part of life. She doesn’t understand, but she’s generous and kind and would do anything for me. She’s a great Mother. She’s just not PERFECT. Nobody is.

Advertisements